Windows and Wishes: Angelic Memories
by Eternal Wicked Lady
Summary: Poem based ficlet, Messiah, Kagetsuya, and Chihaya deal with life's little thorns....


Disclaimer: I don't own the poem "Untitled". It belongs to Sera (lil_zelsie@yahoo.com) and you can see more of her work, both poetry and fanfiction at http://www.seaofselenity.com . Nor do I own the characters from Earthian that I'm about to butcher. ^^ They're copyrighted etc, and I don't claim them!!! I just hope that I've done them justice. That said, on with the story!   
  
Poem lines will be denoted by a tilde (~)  
  
Title: Wishes and Windows: Angelic Memories  
Author: Eternal Wicked Lady  
Rating: PG 13  
Series: Earthian  
  
  
~I wish that I were the one you loved  
~The one you held, the one you touched  
~My eyes gaze out of a rain stained window  
~Desperately wishing I was with you  
  
Messiah stared out the only window in his small room and enjoyed watching the light of the rising sun glint off of raindrops. It was strange, life with emotions. How simple he'd been before. Kill. Destroy. Obey. Electronic perfection encased in the form of an winged humanoid. Cold intelligence. Yes, even then he'd been aware. But that was how he had been made. A puppet of exceptional beauty. An empty killing machine, emotionless until Chihaya. Messiah's eyes misted over as he thought of the dark child-man. Chihaya of the black wings, the silky dark hair and trusting liquid violet eyes. Chihaya...who had given him emotions. Chihaya...his beloved ebony winged angel...his world.   
Chihaya who was in love with another. He had seen the way his small love had gazed at the other angel, hiis partner, the blond prince, Kagestuya. Kagetsuya, Chihaya's complete opposite. Light when Chihaya was dark, bitter cold when Chihaya was the warmth of the sun. How he could love Kagestuya so much, despite the strict laws of their homeworld, Eden, Messiah would never understand. Love like theirs was expressly forbidden. The two would be punished if they ever acted on their feelings, so it confused Messiah. But love each other they did...and what made Chihaya happy, made Messiah happy. Though every inch of his being longed to be the one with Chihaya.  
"Chihaya...."  
  
~I once made you angry with me  
~Your disdain hurt and I didn't know what to do  
~I thought I was right to hate you  
~Weren't you mean to others?  
~It must have been your voice I heard  
~What a hazy memory I have of the scene  
  
Kagetsuya brushed his hair away from his face and stared out the window of the small apartment he shared with his partner, Chihaya. Chihaya was sleeping peacefully in his bed, but Kagestuya was sitting in the kitchen, lost in painful memories and tryiing to drown them with drink. He was, of course, failing.  
[Flashback] He was not happy. Chihaya, his partner, had fled the room in tears. Not happy didn't even cover it. Miserable. That's what he was. Miserable. Having Chihaya look at him with those beautiful violet eyes filled with disgust was almost too much. He'd made the mistake of judging the dark angel before he'd gotten to know him, but not before he'd felt the first faint stirrings in his heart. Kagetsuya had wrongly thought that the smallish man's solitude was of his own making, that Chihaya didn't talk to anyone because he thought he was better than they. He never dreamed that it was because he was so different. His wings were black. The thought just blew him away. They were naturally a lusterous pure black, not that dull lackluster color that angel's with the Black Cancer got. Kagetsuya had heard the rumors, of course, that Chihaya's exotic coloring wasn't just in his hair and skin...but since he'd never seen the younger man's wings, he'd just passed it off as hearsay.  
Today, the day before they were supposed to journey to Earth, the entire reason for their training at the academy, and he'd managed to make his partner hate him. Kagestuya fell across his bed and sulked. Or rather, he tried to, but images kept bombarding him. Chihaya laughing as he introduced himself. Chihaya looking slightly hurt when Kagetsuya didn't take his hand in greeting. Dark eyes sparkling with excitement as he talked about the assignment. Dark little Chihaya...crestfallen as Kagestuya insulted him over and over again. Glorious wings bursting forth from Chihaya's back as the tears rolled down his cheeks. A rain of black feathers and a heartbreaking glance from those expressive eyes as Chihaya had run away crying...[End flashback]  
"What an ass I was..." Kagestuya finally fell asleep at the table, his mind filled with images blurred by time. Chihaya rolled out of bed and silently padded into the kitchen.  
"I forgive you, Kagestuya...." He said as he tucked a blanket around the sleeping blond and touched his fingertips first to his lips, and then to Kagestuya's cheek.  
  
~Your fists were raised, but you did not strike  
~Eyes so angry with a gentle voice  
~Why are you such an enigma?  
~Love should be simple - it seems so sweet  
~But now I'm left in an empty room  
~Gazing out the window  
~Staring at the steps you took as you left  
~Through my tear-filled eyes  
  
Chihaya wiped at the tears he couldn't stop. His heart was bruised, but he had known before he'd even brought it up what would happen. He had hoped with all his being that he would be proven wrong, but...that hadn't happened. Kagestuya always went "by the book". Even when it meant sacrificing his chance at eternal happiness, he chose protocol. Chihaya had flung that at him, had called him a coward. He had called his golden Lion, the proud, fierce Kagestuya, a coward. And Kagestuya had almost hit him he'd been so angry. Almost. Chihaya had cried as Kagestuya slowly repeated the words they both hated: "It is forbidden". Crying as Kagestuya had told him that sometimes it takes more courage to leave something alone than to pursue it. Kagestuya had kissed him then, a short desperate kiss, his own eyes filled with pain. And then he'd left the apartment; leaving Chihaya to wonder at the logic of the whole thing.  
He pulled one of Kagestuya's jackets close around his shoulders as he stared out the window waiting. Chihaya just could not understand why they couldn't love each other, why Eden would have such a law. Love was beautiful, fufilling, the joy in everything. He loved Kagestuya wholly, but couldn't be with him. Chihaya felt completely alone, and not for the first time. However, this time, he didn't have Kagetsuya to talk to. If only he hadn't called Kagestuya a coward, things wouldn't be so bad. But that was the past, and Chihaya knew that you can't change the past, no matter how much you want to. He lifted his dark head and touched his lips with trembling fingers, remembering the look in Kagestuya's eyes as he'd kissed him. The pain there, he had caused it by forcing the issue. He would wait for Kagestuya to come home and tell him that he was sorry. But until then, Chihaya would cry. He would cry and remember his partner's pain. 


End file.
